Kanye West has launched a range of personal lubricants under the brand name SLYDE today in Los Angeles.
In a press conference. He outlined his vision for the brand.
“A lotta people like to hit skins listening to my music. My music has always been a kinda sexual lubricant. SLYDE let’s you have a threesome with me as the third ingredient.”
“We was gonna call it Fruitslide but we wanted more of a fashion statement, so we hit on the fact people wanna fuck in style. Wearing me on your naked body is like a silky slip ‘n’ slide with style. The name SLYDE simply felt right.”
Kanye explained his plan to expand the brand with innovative technology.
“In a few months we’ll be launching a range of vibrating dildos cast in silicone as an accurate portrayal of my physical form. My nerds back at the lab have found a way to make these dildos vibrate exclusively to my tracks.”
When asked if this latest product was egotistical, Kayne responded.
“Haters gonna hate. Now they can go fuck themselves with me as the lube.”
Whydin + Kenny G Portland have been appointed the advertising account after a competitive threesome.